To tell the truth, I’m not really certain where my strengths lie yet as far as personal essays are concerned -- the main reason being that I don’t have a lot of experience with them. It was not easy for me to glance over the list of qualities and choose one right away thinking "That’s definitely me!" So my method was to try to pinpoint my style by eliminating the qualities I felt I could identify with but was not certain about. Since cheek and irony are the qualities I love to read most in an essay, the first quality I was drawn to was "Do I enjoy making fun of people?" I would say that I definitely do enjoy it but I don’t really make it a point in my essay writing, and I don’t like it to feel forced if it isn’t coming to me, which it doesn’t all the time. It’s a feeling that has to be taken advantage of in the moment if I’m going to commit to it. So then I moved on to celebrating idleness. Though I think there’s nothing wrong with idleness and I put it into practice quite often myself, there’s something about celebrating it that makes me feel guilty. It’s something that I would like to overcome. Using texts to propel my writing seems like a good idea and I wish I did it more often, but I don’t remember quotes that well and sometimes I don’t want to take the time to look for them or match them to the proper context so I don’t misuse them. Therefore, I cannot count this as my favorite method. Looking back at past experiences is an important tool for everyone but I tire of that pretty quickly. Even though I think there is a lot of value in it, there is only so far I can go before I’ve lost interest in talking about it.
Exploring feelings of ambivalence or doubt seems by now to be the most "on target" quality that I possess. I find that I sometimes have very strong opinions about something or almost no opinion at all, only to start to see it in a different way once I begin writing about it. It’s a lot like having a conversation with someone who is always questioning my motives. I feel comfortable in the change and fluidity of opinions and beliefs while exploring the contradictions in my own mind. Of course, it’s good to have beliefs you hold dear and don’t let go of because they are the things that make you who you are, but having an open mind helps you to grow as a person and that is something I value, even if it’s a rough road to travel.
I liked what you said about holding onto your beliefs, it's what makes your writing the way it is. It's your constant resource that you always have.
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