Welcome to the Jungle

When my boyfriend and I were on vacation a couple of years ago we decided to eat somewhere nice. I got dressed up in a tropical sundress and we walked across the street to a hotel to find the restaurant we were looking for. There were palm trees and tropical plants everywhere. Somewhere there was a waterfall making splashing noises. It was dark because it was night out and the ceiling of the restaurant was a big skylight to give it the feeling of being outdoors in a real jungle. The only lights were candles in the middle of each table so we could barely see each other, which was charming and cozy but also seemed a little dangerous. The waitress came and took our orders and we started joking around while we anticipated our expensive and delicious food. It seemed to be taking a while and the waiter had filled up our water glasses a few times when we noticed a shadow lurking behind some bamboo and palm tree leaves. It seemed to be zoning in on us yet taking its time like an animal stalking its prey. We gave each other a nervous glance and before we knew it a woman with a giant camera came darting at us. All of a sudden we were being goaded into moving closer together. The woman talked fast and loud and there was no time to protest. She ordered us to pose in complicated and unnatural ways, tilting our heads in every direction and moving our arms around each other like it was some new and even more complicated way to play Twister. She was very precise about what she wanted. We did what she told us so nobody would get hurt. I wondered if the rest of the restaurant was as disturbed by this as I was. When she was finished with us she left as quickly as she had come after telling us she would be back with the prints.  We began to eat. All that frenzied posing had worked up an appetite. By the time we got done with our dessert she was back. She showed us a few samples of what she had taken and in my haste to make her go away I just pointed to one without really looking and we paid her for it. When we got outside to a well-lit area I took the picture out of the bag expecting to see an awkward mess. I slowly pulled it out of the envelope inch by inch. We looked awesome. Like two people in love should. It’s still one of my favorite pictures of us and I keep it in a frame next to my bed. Demented strangers take the best photographs.